: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
