I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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