it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
