I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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