I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
