You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
