if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
