i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
