He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize