Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There's always time for handjobs
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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