i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
