I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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