Buhtt sex?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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