new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
