Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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