garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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