i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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