i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
