It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
