she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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