Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
