Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
