My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
