i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Randomize
