Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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