I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Shame is for Republicans.
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