Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
