How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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