I CAN MOONWALK!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
