What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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