i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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