is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
