no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
