Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
