I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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