who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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