Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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