i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
