I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
