I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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