I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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