Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
