felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
