were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
