Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I forget how to act sober
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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