We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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