Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
