i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
