Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize