I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize