You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
