i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
