i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize