Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
