You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
