i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
