the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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