he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
