sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
