she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So many bounce houses so little time
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
