Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
