Sponge bath it is.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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